I write with dear and happy thoughts of Hawaii and New Zealand. Both chokkha with strong Polynesian ancestry . But the Maoris are different to the Hawaiians . The warrior is very evident in the DNA of the Maoris and their culture . This amazing race of people sporting large shoulders and calves,( a must, for rowing across Oceans.,) which they now use to drastic effect against Rugby opponents from all the world .They are the feared and renowned All Blacks , New Zealands giants of the oval ball.
Landing on Kona Island , via Honolulu , to be met by the huge smiles of relief from Frank , Linda and Roland .( As explained in a Cautionary Tale, passport problems ). Whisked across a volcanic lunar landscape to their private oasis on a very green and shapely golf course
Frank and Linda are great walkers and Linda is one mightly prepared woman for these jaunts with mixed fruit bars, water and nuts in her light backpack to sustain us on scenic gazing pauses .
One of the stand outs was obviously a Hawaiian dancing show .
The young men made some terribly saucy gyrations whilst the exquisite ladies allowed their delicate hips to sway with concomitant wavy hand movements . Coup de grace was some fabulous strapping chap in a grass skirt performing The Fire Dance .
With two flaming sticks that he nonchalantly tossed up and just as nonchalantly caught .Slowly passing these burning rods through his legs, bound up in vegetation and clacking shells, as he was in the backward position thus doing it blind ( we all squidged up our faces in dread , well I did anyway , ) as the flames licked closely . I am convinced a flame retardant had been applied to his knickers . Which were very little to the bemusement and constant eye blinking of us ladies in the audience. This took place at The Marriott hotel…. Not to be missed if passing through.
Although I am an agnostic when I am with Frank and Linda I love going to church , or saying grace over food with them . Don`t ask me why .
Anyway the Sunday Service on their island was just a joy . Consisting of a small gospel choir singing away as we came in The church itself is constructed as a hexagon , the priest taking the service in the middle , barefooted and masculine. An ex New York fireman with his colourful congregation bursting at the seams. Fabulous.
Onto the land of the Kiwis . Your Faithful Correspondent is not an avid tourist , by which I mean that on arrival whether in Buenos Aries ,Spain , Mexico etc etc I rarely consult the guide book as to ruins, relics and sites of historic interest , Nope , I locate firstly and foremostly the Local tennis and Duplicate bridge clubs .The same held true on arriving in Waikanae Beach , home of my darling brother Timothy and his amazing , tall , garrulous Kiwi wife Karen.
My chum Roland and I travelled with our trusty tennis racquets and plimsolls ready for action . We were not disappointed. The Waikanae Beach tennis Club took us under their wing .
It has 4 marvellous courts ,a great club house where Morning Tea ( with bikkys) was a staple after the first two 2 rounds and to top it all a very merry band of players. All levels were catered for .From Enid ,of 80 years of years young and jolly pretty to boot who sits out every other game to some ladies and chaps who could whack the ball with alacrity and terror to their opponents. Marvellous.
The Waikane Duplicate bridge Club was also happily unearthed , through, our guide and companion to all things of this planet Earth , Google
The afternoon session apres bridge restorative ..
Again a charming and warm welcome. The order of the day was the British game of ACOL as opposed to Standard American . So a few clangers dropped in the bidding by Yours Truly , but finally got into the swing of it. had different partners of different degrees and levels. They do not have bidding boxes but the bids are written on squares.
Best of all was after an afternoon session, a trip to the local hostelry, wine and baskets and baskets of chips ( french fries) were consumed with gusto . In the case of the evening session players would nip to the well stocked wine cooler ,and thereby extract their own particular bottle of tipple . Thus glass in hand they convivially sat around a table seating 20 people .Chunks of watermelon with salty crackers and a Joke book would be passed around . I have two jokes in my conpendium so dove in and delivered each one on separate occasions. The honour of my Mexican bridge Club was at stake.
Anyway . There are 4.6 million people living on these two Islands and only 1 million of them on the larger South Island . I presume as it has the harsher climate of very cold and nippy winters.
But for so few tax payers I was absolutely blown away by the modern infrastructure of the roads and omnipresent cycle lanes as of a much larger population.
An important part of life for many Kiwis is the love of going “walk about ” on their less hospitable South island , because in summer it is literally stunning with turquoise lakes and wild beauty . Timothy and Karen are great adherents to this summer rite.
Off they tootled for 5 weeks in their uber luxurious RV, with their bicycles and Tim`s fishing rods.
But on a serious note ;climate change is affecting their glaciers . As in the photo they sent me below. They used to walk on the glacier at this point.
Meanwhile Roland and I had caught the ferry down to this fabled South island to whale watch . Anyway after 2 1/2 hours in a fast boat ,accompanied magically for short while by dolphins , and entertained by an erudite speaker on board who gave a sound whale lecture there was no whale sighting! Roland was fed up and muttering loudly that at least there was a 100% full refund if we did not see one of these behemoths.
Well blow me down a whale was sighted and for all of 10 minutes it lay in the water and then flipped upside and dived. No money back and Roland feeling let down .
This may have attributed to his sleep patterns which on this trip were a bit irregular so I gave him a gentle sleep pill. He forgot to take it that night but when he awoke in the morning he saw it and took it then !!!!!
Back at the house which is less than a minutes walk from the beach I awaited my new passport from London . Roland had left on his way home to Mexico .Tim and Karen were deep into 16 kilometers bike rides and lengthy “trampings” . So I swam in the ocean ,most mornings , played bridge , bowls and tennis. At night I could see the moon on the ocean from my bedroom balcony .With the soft Pacific breezes wafting onto my face as I slept.
Sunsets as ever on beaches were spectacular. Sadly the Samsung does not conveyit`s beauty ,anyway here is my attempt
Bliss with a capital B my friends
Karen by the way is one of twins and one of 9 children to boot. So my brother has family there if you get my gist .
Happy Trails xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx To you All my Dear Readers and Friends
fortnum007's Blog 
Leave a comment